Viewing: Peace - View all posts

Upon the Horrifying Realization My Oldest Child is a Grown-Up 

I sat in a soft chair on the Mezzanine of the exquisite Joseph Smith Memorial Building in Salt Lake City and cried as I watched the back of your 18-year-old person walk to the elevators and disappear to floor 9. Son, you may wonder why I cried. You've had other jobs. This should have been no different. But it was. It was very different. You see, I realized today you're a grown-up. You may argue that 18 is not a grown-up but see why I got all choked up today and then convince me you haven't grown up yet. 
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Dear Brittany  

Dear Brittany,

Brittany, as you move forward with your plan to end your life early, I wish to speak to you as one who was left behind. 

On this day eighteen years ago (October 29, 1996), surrounded by family and loved ones, my late-husband, Mark Allan Van Horn, age 26, slipped peacefully through the veil that separates this mortal world from immortality. Like you, he suffered from a terminal and inoperable brain cancer. But we didn’t consciously know he was dying of an inoperable brain tumor because we…

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Peace Like A River 

Two rivers of tears rush down my cheeks as I write. Tomorrow is his birthday. He would have been forty-three.

I was a young woman in my early twenties, kneeling on the floor of a bathroom stall pouring the agony of my heart out to God, pleading for strength to let go of the greatest love I had ever known.  My young husband, attached to "life" support, lay in a bed at the end of the ICU hallway. Our precious baby boy was at home with my sister.  A horrifying storm of emotions rolled inside of me, nearly…Read more